I'd like to pretend that "B.M." stands for "book of mormon" or some other lofty and important item. But not today.
Today is stands for Bowel Movement.
BOWEL MOVEMENT.
That's what my mom called it growing up. She's way to classy to call it something crass like POO. She wouldn't use the full correct term, just the initials. You, know, "do you need to go B.M. in the potty, Tyler?" or, "Good job going B.M. in the big girl potty Missy!".
Sorry Ty and Miss. I don't have any vivid memories of my own potty training days. I can only assume I was awesome at it.
I digress.
We are on day NINE of potty-training Libby. Nine. I employed the same method that I used on both of my other kids. The same method my saintly mother successfully used on all SEVEN of her children. It's basically potty-training in a day, and it works. By nap-time the first day they're basically good to go. We haven't used diapers since the first night, and Libbs hasn't had an accident since day ONE. (she unfortunately copped a squat on her dance teacher's floor that day...sorry Heid and Mekall! May santa bring you a Swiffer for Christmas!)
She's awesome. She's a pro. She can hold it. She can go by herself. She adores flushing.
UNLESS...and that is a HUGE UNLEEEEEEES...
...we are talking about poo.
She hasn't peed herself for 8 days. EIGHT NIGHTS AND NINE NAPS...true enough...
but she's pooped herself everyday for nine days. Most days multiple times. MULTIPLE TIMES. What can I say. She's her father's child. She's pooped in the potty twice. TWICE. And I do believe those were OOPSIE POOPSIES.
I'm done. No amount of YOU HURT SNOW WHITE'S FEELINGS WHEN YOU POOP ON HER FACE, or, TINKERBELL FEELS SAD THAT YOU GOT POO AAAALLL OVER HER PRETTY DRESS, or DORA IS CRYING BECAUSE YOU POOPED ON HER AND WE HAD TO THROW HER IN THE GARBAGE seems to matter to my head strong 3 yr. old. I've threatened that Santa will be a no show and she feigns understanding and cooperation...up until she lays her next load.
HELP ME.
Training underwear (we do NOT use the *P* word here...the result is sudden, intense pain and instant humiliation if anyone slips...for the LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY I HATE THAT WORD!)
Anyway....training underwear is disposable. I will NOT scrub, dig, spoon my 3 yr. old's feces out of underwear. I refuse. They are thrown away immediately. No questions asked. No guilt. (sorry all my frugal, poo loving friends, it AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN). But my baby-poops-a-lot daughter is starting to deplete our resources. I may have to go donate plasma to keep up with her bowels, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
Please. PLEASE. Please.
If you have any advice, I'd be a grateful recipient.
17 comments:
panties.
i'm sorry. i couldn't help it. i hate that word, too. like moist. or cream. you are welcome to throw those in my face anytime. i just couldn't help it.
Ok. I'm totally coming out of the closet. I read your blog whenever you post and we went to BHS together. Anywhoo..... my son was having the same problem. It was driving me crazy! I took him to Toys-R-us and let him pick out anything he wanted. He chose a very cool train set and we took it home. I didn't unwrap it and I placed it directly on the back of the toilet. It was killing him to not have at it. It took a few days, but he did it and I let him have it. But, the next day he had a BM in his pants. Well, away that new toy went. It was devastating to him. He eventually got the jist of what he was supposed to do and it's been smooth sailing ever since. He's been trained since last April and whenever he plays with that train, he makes a point to tell me that he's potty trained. Try it and let me know!
By the way...my mom said BM, too! Funny!
I am laughing so hard! I bet your panty bill is going through the roof. Just hose it off on your lawn and call it good.
Good luck. Parker held his poop for days and would let it out in the tub. Finally I caught him mid poopy and stuck him on the potty and made him say a prayer. FINALLY it clicked, and it provided and awesome story to share in testimony meeting the next Sunday. Win/win.
Tara... I truly admire people like you and your mom... but you may want to consider joining the dark side over here of lazy mothers. I'd say back to pullups my dear. I simply wait until they are darn good and ready. (or until they have to start preschool and the school won't let them in without being trained.. which ever comes first.)
panties!
panties!
panties!
panties!
It would be a lot easier for me to have sympathy for you if I wasn't laughing so dang hard! However, it does sound like a pretty "crappy" situation. :) I'm the same way with poo covered "training underwear." Good luck!
Oh Tara, it's going to sound creepy, but I'm just saying it anyway: I heart you. And I think "You hurt Snow White's feelings when you poop on her face" might be my new favorite sentence.
I got nothing. I usually wait until they are seven or eight before I try potty-training.
Loving this..."YOU HURT SNOW WHITE'S FEELINGS WHEN YOU POOP ON HER FACE, or, TINKERBELL FEELS SAD THAT YOU GOT POO AAAALLL OVER HER PRETTY DRESS, or DORA IS CRYING BECAUSE YOU POOPED ON HER AND WE HAD TO THROW HER IN THE GARBAGE."
I may have to try potty training Henry just so I can use these words. Of course, he might think it is funny making Snow White, Tinkerbell, and Dora crying.
I am not sure why I am such a retard when I type comments. I realize that I should have said cry instead of crying.
Oh, Tara, honey, you poor thing. Just you wait for when all those princesses come to give a little what for.
My youngest (a girl) was my hardest too. She was also 3 when things finally found their way to pot and not the floor or the tub, or the bed, or my bed, or .........
Hang in there. Keep laughing, some how it makes it easier than screaming.
Oh, you might show her that you are almost out of princesses and then what is she going to do? (That's right you're the mom, make her pack her bags for THAT trip.)
Good gravy, this post is history in the making. You (and Libby) will be glad this is recorded. Deep breaths, Tara. This too shall pass. (3 cheers for disposable...PANTIES.)
I was going to share my incredible insight with you on our methods but Jen reminded me that just last week I sharted my own self so I've been asked to refrain...
Merry Christmas!!
So been there, I have zero advice. I am honestly still amazed to this day that all of mine go in the potty since I swear I wanted to rip my hair out and run screaming whilst potty training them...anyway. I throw those sickies away too. Jeremy can't stand it, but he refuses to clean them out either, so away they go. I used p* for way too long with this one and paid dearly, so stick it out. Someone will win and I srsly hope that someone is you! :)
So does Jeff wear disposables??
Once again. I have fallen off my chair reading your post. Love it! So I have loaded up a helicopter with 2 tons of size 2-3 toddler panties. They should be airlifted and dropped on your doorstep sometime around 2pm. So when you finish chucking poop in the toilet or over your fence into the neighbor's yard, go take a look. Miss you TONS!! k-dog
Post a Comment